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Marriage and Relationships

Marriage and Relationships

· 8 · 1673

  • Postime: 1740
  • Gjinia: Mashkull

ne: 22-01-2007, 19:29:51
* Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's
Degree and the women gets her Master.

* Marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.

* Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS"
-The Engagement Ring
-The Wedding Ring
-The Suffe-Ring
-The Endu-Ring

* Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with
friends....
You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow
has, you wish you had ordered that.

* It's true; all men are born free and equal - but some of them get
married

* There was this lover who told his love that he would go through
hell for her. They got married - and now he is going through HELL! :d



I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must
be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette



I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. -
Noel Coward, 1956




When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get
in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Montaigne

* Falling in love is awfully simple. Falling out of love is simply
awful.

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.

Love is a matter of chemistry, seks is a matter of physics.

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer seks
raises some pretty good questions. -- Woody Allen

Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
__________________

* Life is sexually transmitted.

Everybody lies about seks.

- Lazarus Long



Sex is the most fun I have ever had -- without laughing.

- Woody Allen

Women are like fine wine. They all start
out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with
age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache.

  • Postime: 1740
  • Gjinia: Mashkull

#1 ne: 22-01-2007, 19:54:00
* Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is
       over, the strings are attached.

* Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an
       institution for the blind.

* There was a man who said "I never knew what happiness was until I
       got married... and then it was too late!"


I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must
   be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette


I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. -
   Noel Coward, 1956

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
   him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in
   Europe-Jackie Mason

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get
   in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Montaigne :D


I'm not the kind-of guy who objects to my wife having the last word.
I'd just wish to hell she'd get to it ! :D



   It's really a wonder my wife and I ever got together in the first
   place.
   She swore she would never marry me when I was drunk, and
   I wouldn't dream of marrying her when I was sober.


At bedtime, when my wife asks "Is everything shut-up for the night ?"
   
   I always patiently reply, "Everything 'else' is, dear."


A friend asked my wife if I was hard to please
   
   She replied, "Don't know. Never tried."    :D


"I never married because there was no need.
I have three pets at home which answer the same
purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls
every morning, a parrot which swears all
afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night."

    - Marie Corelli  :P



*   Son :How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
           Father:I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.
          Son :Is it true, Dad, that I heard that in ancient China, a man
       doesn't know his wife until he marries?
          Father:That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE.


* They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it
       is love; after marriage it is self defence. :D

  • Postime: 1740
  • Gjinia: Mashkull

#2 ne: 22-01-2007, 20:13:14
'A women's work is never done by men'

Graffito


* Marriage life is full of excitement and frustration:
           -in the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman
       listens.
          -in the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
          -in the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.


* It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an
       eye-opener.


* There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and
       found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his
       sleep and found himself divorced.  :D


My wife knows how to make my long stories short --
   She interrupts


   

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women,
sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, seks
is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can
be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are
like fire. They're very excited, but the conditions
have to be exactly right for it to occur.

    - Jerry Seinfeld



If you think the way to a man's heart is through
his stomach, you're aiming too high.


The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you're sick of him.


   

Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home.
He probably lies about other things too.



A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

Unknown


   

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm
divorced so they won't think something is
wrong with me.  :D

Elayne Boosler


A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.


   

It's one thing to have to explain to a man why a billion dollar
measure has been vetoed, but it is much more difficult to explain
to a woman why the cap of the toothpaste has not been put back on.

     - W. C. Fields


Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts
   when they try to decide which one.


After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
   can't face each other, but still they stay together. -- Hemant Joshi

   
"What do most people do on a date?"
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies,  and that usually gets
 them interested enough to go for a second date."
                        -- Response by Mike, Age 10

  • Postime: 1740
  • Gjinia: Mashkull

#3 ne: 23-01-2007, 06:39:16
Not to sound so sexist, and to be impartial, next time I will post quotes and material that makes fun of the other side.

  • Postime: 3788
  • Gjinia: Mashkull

#4 ne: 23-01-2007, 09:17:35
These quotes are great - hilarious, quite true and right to the point.

I couldn't help smiling and now I can't stop laughing! LOL

  • Postime: 12151
  • Gjinia: Femer

#5 ne: 14-10-2008, 11:20:44
Not to sound so sexist, and to be impartial, next time I will post quotes and material that makes fun of the other side.


ur "next time"...is taking 2 long :D...


"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." LOL LOL

- Rita Rudner

  • Postime: 79
  • Gjinia: Mashkull

#6 ne: 18-07-2009, 06:24:59
great quotes .keep it up

  • Postime: 691
  • Gjinia: Mashkull

#7 ne: 18-07-2009, 09:48:09
Most people who meet my wife quickly conclude that she is remarkable. They are right about this. She is smart, funny and thoroughly charming. Often, after hearing her speak at some function or working with her on a project, people will approach me and say something to the effect of, you know, I think the world of you, Barack, but your wife, wow!

Barack Obama


My wife has been my closest friend, my closest advisor. And ... she's not somebody who looks to the limelight, or even is wild about me being in politics. And that's a good reality check on me. When I go home, she wants me to be a good father and a good husband. And everything else is secondary to that.


Barack Obama


It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.


Friedrich Nietzsche

Temat e fundit