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Rainy Days

Rainy Days

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  • Postime: 12151
  • Gjinia: Femer

ne: 17-05-2011, 10:44:20
There's no rainy days anymore. They went away and washed away my soul. I miss the feeling of being close to happiness. I miss the times I was not ashamed of looking in the mirror. I miss the times I laughed because something was actually hilarious instead of pretending to be enjoying it. I miss the magic of little moments. Damn, I miss the rain…
I used to think there was an opportunity to change my life everyday. But now I see that changes don’t give me an opportunity to live at all.
Everyday I try less. I don’t work so hard anymore. I’m tired of doing nothing, of being nothing. Whatever crosses my path is not good enough to be reminded with a real smile.
I found out that loneliness is the best company I could ever have. So many faces today, so many people sharing the same space, but only because they have to. Well… Live together, die alone. So many empty people with empty eyes, walking alone with their empty thoughts, showing off their empty souls... Have you ever look at someone and wonder what’s on her mind? How do they feel inside? How do they feel outside? Where are they going? What are they going to do? Will they be alive tomorrow? Will you see them again? Will you actually meet them in other circumstances?
How many of those people are happy? Have you ever thought how much you can undress them with one simple look in their eyes? And when you do it, how many times do you see your reflection in somebody else…?
How come so many people can’t look you in the eyes when you’re having a conversation?
I keep thinking, trying to know why is it so hard… But I still can’t explain why I’m so afraid of it. Why I have to look at something else. Why I’m so afraid to let them reach my soul.
Why is it so easy to cry when someone tells you something that hurts you? Why is it so easy to cry when everybody’s looking at you? Maybe laughing at you? But when you’re alone and devastated inside, why can’t you let go one single tear? You have to, you have to let it all go and make it leave your body, but why doesn’t it come out?
Are you that empty…?!
Then how come you still feel? Who are you? Where are you going? I mean, who are you, truly? Are you just a name and a face? What’s your essence? Why don’t you stop to take a deep look at yourself instead of looking at random people who cross you way everyday? It’s so much easier to judge the others, right?
Well, whatever happens, it won’t ever change. Because rainy days still haven’t arrived.


http://ontemcomiarroz.blogspot.com/2007_11_01_archive.html

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