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Albania

Albania

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ne: 14-03-2011, 15:22:45
The Republic of Albania (IPA: al-ba-knee-ahh) (not to be confused with Albany, NY or civilization), also known as Albanistan and Albania, the place where people have Turkish names but aren't Turkish but they are their own people under the safe blanket of the Americans, but most commonly referred to as the Glorious United State of Albania, is an unincorporated unwanted territory of the United States of America located in South-Eastern Europe, in the western region of the Balkans. It is inhabited by Albanians, Serbs, Greeks, and Macedonians, but since Albanians claim to be the oldest around the peninsula, everyone is believed to be Albanian. Word has it that they descended from the Illyrian tribes, but few people know the truth, and nobody cares. Albanians are renowned emigrants, and (anecdotally) fierce nationalists. Apparently, there are about 4 million of them living abroad, with some highly reliable sources saying as many as 20 million.

Albanians think about half of the most prominent figures in history or the media are Albanian. Thus, Alexander the Great, Mother Teresa, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lewis Hamilton, Paris Hilton (Person), Steve Jobs and - most recently - Barack Obama are all rumored to be of Albanian descent. Some Albanians think Rihanna is from Southern Albania too, but she has publically denied this on several occasions and has been quoted on record as saying they are certainly not welcome under her umbrella.

Albanians are kind, hospitable people who are very understanding towards people of other religions, mainly because they, Albanians, have no religion. A typical Albanian muslim is tipsy in the morning, just before he goes to the mosque, and completely shitfaced by the time he takes his family to the church later that day.

In April 2009, the country wholeheartedly accepted an invitation to join NATO. The prime minister called it 'a miracle of freedom'. What he meant (if he meant anything) was not exactly understood but greatly appreciated. Later that year Albania confirmed its interest in joining the EU by officially begging applying for membership.

Present day Albania boasts very lively nightclubs, flashy cars and pricey hookers who probably don't care much about NATO. The unemployment rate is close to 70%, and of those unemployed, nobody would take a job unless it requires no effort and pays well. Despite this, the economy seems to be doing fine and - according to the PM - the country is and will not be affected by the 2008 Global Financial Crisis. If that were true, Albania would join the Vatican, the tribes of the Amazon, and the Moon in being recession-proof no matter what.
« Editimi i fundit: 28-08-2020, 23:33:22 nga InfoZ »

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#1 ne: 14-03-2011, 21:34:24
Kjo "shaka" ma largoi qeshjen per disa dite.

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#2 ne: 15-03-2011, 12:43:45
Present day Albania boasts very lively nightclubs, flashy cars and pricey hookers who probably don't care much about NATO. The unemployment rate is close to 70%, and of those unemployed, nobody would take a job unless it requires no effort and pays well.

Shakaja..gjysma e vertetes

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#3 ne: 15-03-2011, 15:43:54
Kjo "shaka" ma largoi qeshjen per disa dite.


Citim
Under no circumstances should you allow a Serbian to die in your country. If that happens, expect that thousands of Serbs appear next day on your doorstep shouting: "THIS IS SERBIA! THIS IS SERBIA!" For some obscure reason Serbs believe that wherever there is a grave of one of them, they have the right to claim the land. Be very suspicious about Serbs traveling in pairs. It might very well be that they just wait for an opportune moment to kill one of them and claim your country. If you need to kill a Serb, it makes sense to take it outside.
« Editimi i fundit: 28-08-2020, 23:33:44 nga InfoZ »

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#4 ne: 15-03-2011, 17:32:37
vertet qenka nje faqe interesante, edhe relaksuese

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